Hell
Yeah
Alright now boys and girls we've
got another story for you now!
We want to introduce to you another
friend of the Bible!
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
If I were God there would be no
explicit sex on T.V.
Like little Opie eating pie when
he made it with Aunt Bea
If I were God thou shall not worship
false Billy Idols
And thou shall add the Book Of
Flavor Flav to the Bible
Thou shall make fun of Hindus thou
shall not make a "Speed 2"
If I were God that's what I'd do
Heavens no
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
If I were God I'd get a bunch of
slaves to do everything
Norwegian lesbians that feed me
grapes and know how to sing
If I were God thou shall not wear
tube socks with Flip-Flops
Thou shall sit and thou shall spin
thou shall even wife swap
Thou shall resist the Olsen Twins
thou shall not cut "Footloose"
If I were God that's what I'd do
Heavens no
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
And when they nail my pimpled ass
to the cross
I'll tell them I found Jesus that
should throw them off
He goes by the name Jesus and steals
hubcaps from cars
Oh Jesus can I borrow your crowbar?
To pry these God damn nails out
they're beginning to hurt
Crucified and all I got was this
lousy tee shirt
"I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!"
I'll sing as I'm flogged
Yeah that's what I would do if
I were God
So vote for me for Savior and you'll
go to Heaven
Your lame duck Lord is like Kevin
Spacey in "Seven"
With creepy threats of H-E-Double-Hockey-Stick
You just can't teach an old God
new tricks
But would I be a good Messiah with
my low self-esteem?
If I don't believe in myself would
that be blasphemy?
Just sport some crummy "holier
than thou" facade
Yeah that's what I would do if
I were God |